A massage hits the spaaaaaaaaaat

In addition to being an international center of commerce and trade, Shenzhen is also known for its spas. And since Dorcas and I have both spent the past week recovering from icky colds, we decided to treat ourselves to a spa day unlike any other...

We entered Queen Spa and Dining at 2pm. The female employees in the lobby, all of whom were wearing crisp white suits with huge fan collars a la the Jetsons, welcomed us and gave us red identification bracelets to which all of our spa services would be charged. Then they ushered us into the female changing area, which is is the poshest locker room I've ever seen. The lockers were covered in purple suede, and a narrow changing room was hidden between the lockers like an upscale airplane bathroom. We stripped down, swathed ourselves in large towels, and padded off to the shower room in our red spa flip-flops. Mind you, this is the first hot shower I'd had in two weeks, since the hot water heater in our apartment bathroom is broken. Needless to say, I took full advantage of my private shower stall and steamed myself pink! There were all kinds of soaps and shampoos in there, including a bottle that proclaimed: "Living the Skin Almightiness / Washes Noodles Milk." Um... I didn't use that one.

After showering, we proceeded to the sinks and were invited to brush our teeth -- a bit unexpected, but also pleasant. Then we trotted past a large soaking pool to the pajama room, where we traded our towels for spa-issued pink pajamas and disposable underwear (which is not as gross as it sounds). Clean and clothed, we took the elevator four floors up (this spa is 5 stories, people!) to a floor full of spa goers that looked like spa meets Vegas meets WALL-E.

Here's how it works: You stake out a private recliner in a row of recliners. Each recliner has its own TV screen, cup holder, and ottoman. All around you, people are sleeping, eating, watching TV, talking on their cell phones, or getting spa treatments. Oh, and smoking, too, which totally grossed me out; luckily, there's also a non-smoking section. In the middle of the floor are several snack bars offering fruit, soft-serve ice cream, juices, teas, popcorn, and miscellaneous salty snacks. Their full-service restaurant is also open 24/7, and people can play pool and check their email in other lounge areas. (Seriously, does anyone really want to check her email at a spa?! Given that you can stay here for 24 hours, though, I guess some people actually want to...) In the arm of your recliner is a spa "menu," from which you can order all sorts of different treatments. 

While Dorcas and I were mulling over the menu, a server brought us water and sliced watermelon. I felt like a princess, or at least like I was flying first class. Over the course of the day, we opted for foot massages, hand massages, and neck/shoulder massages, each of which was at least 45 minutes long! (Note to self: 60 minutes on just the neck and shoulders is a bit much. But the hand and foot massages were awesome!) We decided to pass on the other treatments, which included full-body massages, pedicures (which don't involve nail polish), foot scraping (yikes) and back scraping (double yikes). Sadly, this spa didn't offer "blowing the foot," so I may never know what that mysterious procedure entails.

For a massage, you could choose male or female masseuse, but it seems like more people chose female. Our first masseuses were dressed like glamorous nurses, in embroidered blouses and scrub bottoms, and the later masseuses looked like cheerleaders in their itty bitty pleated skirts. I felt really strange when I glanced over at another patron's recliner and saw his masseuse leaning over to massage his back, thus flashing me with her underwear. Even though I didn't see anything overtly sexual happening, there sure was a undercurrent of sexuality and decadence infusing the whole place.

In between massages, Dorcas and I hung out and chatted in our chairs, watched a movie, had scrumptious noodles for dinner, and wandered around to get snacks. Like Vegas, the blinds were mostly closed, so it was hard to tell what time of day it was. It was also strange to hear the clamor around us, since I'm used to the Western idea of a spa where people whisper and tiptoe around. But since I don't speak Mandarin, it was easy for me to tune out the TV noise, chattering masseuses, and cell phone conversations as mostly white noise. 

Finally, we started to yawn, and decided to call it a night. As my mom would say, better to leave wanting more than to leave having had too much. We retraced our way back through the showers and locker room (I snuck in another hot shower, just for good measure), and traipsed back out to the lobby with our little ID bracelets. Lo and behold, when we went to pay, we discovered we'd spent EIGHT HOURS in the spa! And all for the low price of 234 yuan... about 33 bucks.